Why Paper Straws Suck
(The Science)

Hannah Fry is a British mathematician, BBC science presenter, and author whose work explaining complex science to general audiences has earned her a global following. In a recent Facebook Reel that has circulated widely, she holds up a paper straw, looks directly at the camera, and delivers a verdict that millions of people have been thinking but not quite articulating: "10/10 for good intentions, ZERO/10 for actually functioning in a way that is remotely useful or pleasant."

She then explains, with characteristic precision, exactly why paper straws fail — not as a matter of taste, but as a matter of physics and chemistry. The straw interacts with the water inside your drink. Pressure differentials cause the cellulose walls to absorb moisture. The structural integrity collapses. The experience is unpleasant. This is not a design flaw that can be engineered away. It is a consequence of what paper is.

"10/10 for good intentions, ZERO/10 for actually functioning in a way that is remotely useful or pleasant."— HANNAH FRY, MATHEMATICIAN & BBC SCIENCE PRESENTER

We share this not to pile on paper straws — the people who made them were trying to solve a real problem — but because Hannah Fry's observation opens a conversation that the hospitality industry has been having quietly for years, and that we think deserves to be had loudly. The paper straw was a well-intentioned response to a genuine environmental crisis. It was also, as a product, a failure. And the fact that it failed matters, because the problem it was trying to solve has not gone away.

A natural rye straw holds its structure for the full duration of a drink — no softening, no collapse, no taste transfer.

The Physics of Why Paper Straws Fail

A drinking straw works by creating a pressure differential. You seal your lips around the straw, reduce the air pressure inside your mouth, and atmospheric pressure pushes the liquid up through the tube. This process requires the straw wall to be structurally rigid — it must resist the inward pressure of the liquid and the outward pressure of your mouth without deforming.

Paper is a hygroscopic material. It absorbs water. When a paper straw is placed in a liquid, the cellulose fibres in the outer layers begin to absorb moisture from the drink and from the condensation on the outside of the glass. As the fibres absorb water, they swell and soften. The laminated layers — paper straws are typically made from multiple layers of paper bonded with adhesive — begin to delaminate. The structural rigidity that makes a straw functional disappears. The straw collapses inward under the pressure differential it was designed to manage.

In a cold drink, this process takes between four and twenty minutes depending on the paper weight, the lamination quality, and the temperature of the liquid. In a hot drink — a hot toddy, a mulled wine, a warm apple cider — it takes considerably less time. The straw that arrived with your drink may not survive the drink.

The paper straw was a well-intentioned response to a genuine environmental crisis. It was also, as a product, a failure.

The Chemistry: Forever Chemicals in "Eco-Friendly" Straws

The structural failure of paper straws is the most visible problem. The chemical problem is less visible but arguably more significant. In 2023, researchers at the University of Antwerp in Belgium published a study testing 39 brands of drinking straws — paper, bamboo, glass, stainless steel, and plastic — for the presence of per- and polyfluoroalkyl substances, commonly known as PFAS, or "forever chemicals."

The results were striking. PFAS were detected in 90% of the paper straw brands tested. They were found in 80% of bamboo straw brands. They were not detected in stainless steel straws, and were found in only a small number of glass straws. The plastic straws, the product that paper straws were designed to replace, had no measurable PFAS content.

PFAS are a class of approximately 12,000 synthetic chemicals used in industrial and consumer products for their water- and grease-resistant properties. They are called "forever chemicals" because they do not break down in the environment or in the human body. They accumulate in soil, water, and biological tissue. They have been associated with a range of health problems including thyroid disruption, immune system effects, and certain cancers. They are, by definition, not biodegradable.

The irony is significant. Paper straws were introduced as a biodegradable, eco-friendly alternative to plastic. The research suggests that many of them contain chemicals that are, by their nature, not biodegradable — and that the plastic straws they replaced did not contain. The "eco-friendly" label, applied to a product that may leach PFAS into your drink and into the environment, is at best misleading.

The Mouthfeel Problem: Why It Matters for Premium Hospitality

The failure of paper straws is not only a structural and chemical problem. It is an experiential problem — and in premium hospitality, experience is the product.

A paper straw introduces a taste. The cellulose, the adhesive, and in many cases the PFAS coatings used to slow water absorption all transfer flavour compounds into the drink. In a carefully crafted cocktail — where a bartender has balanced acidity, sweetness, bitterness, and aroma to within narrow tolerances — the introduction of a foreign flavour is not a minor inconvenience. It is a failure of the drink. The bartender's work is undone by the vessel.

The mouthfeel of a paper straw is also fundamentally different from a natural straw. The softened paper creates a sensation that most drinkers find unpleasant — a wet, slightly gritty texture against the lips that is difficult to ignore. In a £20 cocktail at a London bar, or a $30 cocktail at a New York speakeasy, this is not acceptable. The straw is part of the presentation. It is part of the ritual. It should not be the thing the guest is thinking about.

In a carefully crafted cocktail, the introduction of a foreign flavour is not a minor inconvenience. It is a failure of the drink.

The Original Straw Had None of These Problems

Before 1888, every drinking straw was a natural straw. The hollow stem of a cereal grass — rye, wheat, or barley — cut to length and placed in a drink. No processing. No additives. No adhesive. No PFAS. No structural failure. The natural straw held its form for the duration of a drink because a hollow grass stem is designed by evolution to manage exactly the kind of pressure differential that a drinking straw requires. It is a tube. It has been a tube for millions of years. It is very good at being a tube.

The natural straw was replaced by paper in 1888 when Marvin Chester Stone patented a paper drinking straw — not because paper was better, but because it was cheaper to manufacture at industrial scale. The natural straw was a farm product. The paper straw was a factory product. In the industrial economy of the late nineteenth century, factory products won.

In 2026, the calculus has changed. The factory product — in both its plastic and paper forms — has been found wanting. The farm product, the original straw, is back. And it turns out that the original straw had none of the problems that its replacements introduced.

Natural rye straws at Shaffer Farms, British Columbia. The hollow stem develops naturally as the plant matures — no processing, no additives.

What Naturally Straws Actually Is

Naturally Straws is a farm-grown rye straw from British Columbia, produced by Shaffer Farms. The product is a 4mm hollow grass stem, naturally dried and cut to length. There is no processing. There are no additives. There are no PFAS. There is no adhesive. There is no coating. There is nothing in the straw except the straw.

The straw holds its structure for the full duration of a drink — hot or cold. It introduces no flavour to the drink. The mouthfeel is smooth and neutral. It is compostable in both home and industrial compost environments. It is ocean safe. It is pesticide free. It is allergen free. It is carbon negative — the crop sequesters carbon as it grows, and there is no manufacturing process to offset.

We know our lane. Naturally Straws is designed for thin drinks — espresso, iced coffee, cocktails, highballs, sparkling water, still water, wine, champagne. It is not designed for thick smoothies or milkshakes. We leave those to someone else. Our straw does one thing, and it does it perfectly.

A Note on Hannah Fry's Observation

Hannah Fry is not a straw advocate. She is a mathematician who explains science. Her observation about paper straws is not a commercial endorsement of any product. It is a clear-eyed assessment of a product that was designed to solve a problem and did not solve it well.

We think her framing — "10/10 for good intentions, ZERO/10 for actually functioning" — is the most honest description of the paper straw era that we have encountered. The intentions were good. The plastic straw problem was real. The turtle video was real. The beach pollution was real. The response — replace plastic with paper — was understandable. But the product that emerged from that response was not good enough. It failed on structural grounds, on chemical grounds, and on experiential grounds.

The natural straw is not a reaction to the paper straw. It predates the paper straw by centuries. It is simply the original straw, returned. And it turns out that the original was better.

The Old Fashioned — one of the world's most precisely crafted cocktails. The straw should not change the drink.